Four base fears
- Fear of what other people think you
- Fear of escalation, fear of being polarising, fear of showing intent
- Fear of being imperfect (perfectionism), not good enough, running out of things to say
- Fear of rejection (influences the first three)
Self-esteem
- confidence is a healthy balance between a positive and critical view of oneself
- feat upsets this balance and pushes you into over-functioning (narcissism) vs. under-functioning (paralysis)
Going from passive to active relationship with fear on three levels
- Psychological level: How does my past influence my current fears around approach anxiety. Approach: Meditate on it. See RAIN.
- Emotional level: What emotions are being triggered?
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the las of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way
- Viktor Frankel
- Physical: bodily response to the first two levels but you can also use this level to influence the first two levels. Approach: Focus on breathing. Where is the breath (Is it in the chest? Then drop the shoulders, chin up, breath into the belly, broad stance both feet on the ground. Accept when you breathe in and let go when you breathe out).
I know I’m no threat to anyone, so I can be as loud as I want to.